50 ways to break off a relationship

1.)  It’s you not me.
2.)  It’s me not you.
3.)  It’s the dog.
4.)  It’s the cat.
5.)  I feel stuck.
6.)  I don’t like you.
7.)  You deserve better than me.
8.)  I deserve better than you.
9.)  We are just total opposite.
10.)  We want different things.
11.)  You don’t respect me.
12.)  Are you even happy?
13.)  Because I’m not happy.
14.)  I can just scare her away.
15.)  Act like a jerk.
16.)  Be disrespectful.
17.)  Tell her you cheated on her.
18.)  Be honest  they always want you to be honest….yeah right.
19.)  Don’t go home.
20.)  Put her stuff outside.
21.)  Serve her paper.
22.)  You better get a restraining order if you choose any of these ways out.
23.)  Don’t clean and she will eventually leave.
24.)  Get things she never let you get example a dog.
25.)  Tell her your broke and most of them are out.
26.)  Get fat… but then you hurt yourself.
27.)  Do drugs.
28.)  Go out all the time without her permission.
29.)  Be a mooch.
30.)  Act really needed.
31.)  Be over protective… it always drives them away.
32.)  Cheat on her but that is horrible.
33.)  Leave some fake face book message on your computer.
34.)  Sign up for a dating site such as Zoosk.
35.)  Do you even have to tell her anything?
36.)  Tell her you are not attracted to her anymore.
37.)  You grew apart.
38.)  Talk about her sister or mother.
39.)  Go through her phone and purse and purposely get caught.
40.)  Is telling her she is fat to harsh?
41.)  I’m running out of things to say now it is just do.
42.)  Don’t come home.
43.) Ah hah.. I got the best one.  Text her I am breaking up with you.
44.)  Send her flowers to her work with a card… Sorry honey.
45.)  Take her to a public place and maybe she wont create a scene.
46.)  Send her a E-Card saying you are splitting it off.
47.)  Do tell her anything.
48.)  Flirt with her friends.
49.)  Do something bad enough so maybe she will break up with you.  At least she will feel better about herself.
50.)  Tell her you are gay and finally found yourself.  Just don’t get caught dating someone down the line.  I guess you could always say being gay didn’t work out but you had to try.

Disclaimer:  Do not recreate or you any of these ways to split off a relationship.  I am a professional.  Use safety and care when saying or doing any of these things to break up with a lover.  I am in no way responsible for her or your repercussions.